letsberealisticpeople: A Strange Journey through Reality

whole ass

I have been called a self-righteous, condescending, egotistical asshole, and you know what, I have been called way worse. So please add your opinion to the already long list of adjectives that I have already heard or been called. You do not know me, and I do not know you. Your pre-conceived opinion of me is like an asshole; everyone has one and it’s usually shit. 

What does offend me, though, is being called an asshole because I believe people should never limit themselves. I know I am self-righteous, condescending, and egotistical, amongst other adjectives, but just the hole of the ass…? Maybe when I was much younger before experience, education, and emotional awareness had not opened their loving arms to me. It just took me a long time to let them embrace me, and now that I have, you can call me what I already know; I am a realistic whole ass. 

So what is the difference? 

Ironically, the Oxford English Dictionary has a definition for “asshole”. I was kind of shocked to find there is an actual definition for this word, and it is anatomically correct for both variations of it.

Definition of “Asshole”: 

Noun 1: A Person’s Anus.

Noun 2: A stupid, irritating, or contemptible person.5

I had never heard or read what the actual definition of asshole was until I started writing this book, and I actually like it. It is very fitting description for the fastest growing demographic of Human Beings on this planet. Are you an asshole? Wait before you answer that. 

So for “whole ass,” unfortunately, I had to use a non-standard dictionary, The Online Slang Dictionary, to find a definition for the word. I guess it has not been used quite as often as asshole. 

Definition of “Whole Ass”:

Noun: Used to express complete disdain with someone who is more disdainful than the average asshole.

Adjective: Completely without effort, as opposed to half-ass.

That came as another shock. When I think of someone as being more disdainful than the average asshole, the first word that came to my mind was not whole ass. “You fucking whole ass” doesn’t have a very good ring to it. Maybe this is why I like the adjective definition of this word better: completely without effort, as opposed to half-ass. I do not half-ass it anyway, so I might as well be a whole ass.  

But let’s start with what being an asshole is first.

How many of you know a stupid, irritating, or contemptible person in your life? You may know them personally, second hand, or from your inter-web and/or dumb phone feeds.  Assholes are everywhere, and they are the main distractors in your life. Every time you check your dumb phone, every time you cry about what they said and/or did to you, every time you reciprocate these negative vibes onto someone else, you are letting assholes practically control you. You have given them the keys to your life.